You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
