I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
