That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
