This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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