Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
