And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
