I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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