Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
