Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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