I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
