If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
