belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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