just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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