ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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