your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
