It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
