Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
