Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
