YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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