the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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