O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
