She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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