i need an iv and a liver transplant
I bet he comes in French.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
