it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
