Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
