As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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