Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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