How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
