the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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