dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
