dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
