At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
