go do what you do best...puke behind churches
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
