Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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