this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
