Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
