there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
