alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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