ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
