can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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