thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
