the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Semen is not good for contacts.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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