I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
