singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
