I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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