I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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