Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
