I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
