did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
