I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
